just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
