i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
May the power of my ass compel you!!
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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