My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
