Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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