you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
so much tequila, so little girl.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
