yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
