tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
