Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
