I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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