It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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