well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
