Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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