Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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