Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
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