The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
