my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize