If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
