ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Randomize