I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
