All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
