Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
