just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
