I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize