ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
