I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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