I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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