i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize
