So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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