If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize