bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
