Non-Jews are for practice
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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