i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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