I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
