her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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