So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
