You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
