moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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