I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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