If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Can you bring me the toilet please
Randomize
