My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
