god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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