this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
