Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
