I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
