You can't motorboat a personality
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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