Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
