It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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