You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
