You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
