GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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