drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
