you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
no you cant smoke seaweed
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
