Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
