The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
