I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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