My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
