Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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