I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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