Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
