Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
