Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
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