the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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