I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
