shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
