haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
