I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
