i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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