I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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