Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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