it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Sorry about my life...
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
